Andinka P. Udoro
In the heart of Nigeria’s oil-rich region, a sinister epidemic ravages families, leaving deep scars and shattered lives. There is currently a disturbing escalation of domestic violence which demands urgent attention.
Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in intimate relationships where one partner seeks control and power over the other. It is of great concern that gender-based violence persists in today’s society, despite advancements in women’s rights awareness. Despite increased knowledge and empowerment, these harmful practices continue to be our society’s reality.
For 38-year-old Mercy (not her real name), marriage has been a decade-long nightmare. “I’ve lost count of how many times my husband has beaten me,” she confided during a chit chat interview “I’ve been hospitalized so many times, I’ve lost count. I feel trapped, with no way out.”
Mercy’s story is heartbreaking, but not unique. Many women like her suffer in silence as their cries for help are muffled by cultural and societal pressures.
Another victim, 28-year-old Chika (not her real name), recounted her ordeal. “My husband would beat me and then apologize, promising to change. But the cycle continued.”
One would wonder why victims remain silent? “I was told to keep quiet, to prioritize my marriage over my safety,” said 28-year-old Chika (not her real name). “My family and friends advised me to endure, but I’m tired of enduring.”
Expert gives reasons and implications
According to Dr. Lilian Odinakachi Onyeizu, a Port-Harcourt based expert in gender and development studies, primary causes include desire for power and control by the other partner. Patriarchal and cultural norms promoting female domination, mental health issues and substance abuse are still alive.
Learned behavior, where exposure normalizes abuse, also contributes. According to Dr Lilian “Our society is embedded in patriarchal beliefs. Our culture believes so much in dominating a woman.For some correcting a woman is associated with violence and abuses”
She continues “Though it has been proven that mental health issues and substance abuse. Psychological disorder and addiction may escalate abusive tendencies.”
Domestic violence isolates victims and causes social withdrawal. Economic dependence on the abuser makes it even worse by further entrapping victims. The effects on the victims range from physical to emotional and psychological and even social consequences.
Sadly, it does not just end there. Domestic violence in most times is perpetuated in front of children. Children exposed to domestic violence face emotional and behavioural problems, facing difficulty with attachment, increased risk of abuse, decreased academic performance and social skills deficits.
Dr. Onyeizu is also of the opinion “This abuse affects children and doesn’t just include physical abuse but emotional, psychological, sexual and financial exploitation.
The danger of the silence
As the silence surrounding domestic violence continues, the perpetrators feel safe. It is time for everyone to take collective action. We must break the culture of silence. We must support victims, hold perpetrators accountable and demand change.
Dr. Onyeizu added that “The victims should be shown support as most of them remain there because they cannot fend for themselves outside that relationship. The abusers usually walk freely while the victims are blamed.”
We need to let those suffering in silence know that help is available. The time for change is now. Domestic violence will only continue to claim lives if we fail to act.
What can be done?
Dr. Onyeizu condemns domestic violence as “animalistic behavior.” To curb its prevalence, she advocates for public awareness campaigns, education, challenging harmful cultural norms, supporting victims and sensitizing perpetrators “I do not think we can totally prevent domestic violence but we can curb it. Someone who believes her partner should beat her as a sign of love, sees it as normal and needs serious awareness.
Domestic violence can be curbed by public campaigns and awareness, education and challenging certain cultural norms embedded in our society. We need to show support for victims as well.
The perpetrators need to be sensitized as some of them do not even feel they are wrong.” She also advocated for effective implementation of existing legal reforms. “…Legal reforms. There are existing legal reforms but the problem is enforcement and implementation. Strengthening the law and punishing abusers.”
Tackling domestic violence in Nigeria demands coordinated efforts from relevant agencies, including the Nigerian Police and ministry of women affairs to investigate, support and protect victims and prosecute perpetrators.
The far-reaching effects of domestic violence demand urgent attention and collective action. By acknowledging its devastating consequences and working together, we can create a safer, more supportive environment for victims and their families.
#Andinka P. Udoro writes this report as part of the 2024 Women in Journalism Fellowship requirement organized by the Africa Foundation for Young Media Professionals in Port Harcourt, Rivers State
