Hadiza Babakatcha,
In a society that upholds the importance of traditional family structures, the challenges faced by single parents in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, Nigeria remain largely under-reported. These unsung heroes silently carry the weight of raising their children alone, facing numerous obstacles that impact their emotional, financial, and overall well-being. Statistics showed Single motherhood status is growing in Nigeria; It appears to be one of the fastest growing in the world.
A single mother is any woman who has a child but is not in a committed relationship to anyone. One of the most significant challenges faced by single parents in Port Harcourt, like in any other locations, is the burden of financial responsibility. Raising children single-handedly often means limited or no financial support from absent partners, resulting in a heavy reliance on a single income. Many single parents juggle multiple jobs or face unemployment due to a lack of affordable childcare options, making it challenging to provide adequately for their children.
Nkechi Ollor, a primary school teacher shared her journey as a single mother “I am a single mother of two children, aged 8 and 10. Being a single parent has been a challenging journey for me. After my husband left us years ago, I had to take on the responsibilities of both parents. It has been difficult financially, emotionally, and socially”. Balancing work, taking care of children, and managing household chores can have an overwhelming impact on women in this shoe. It only takes determination and the love for their children to keep going.
When Nkechi Ollor was asked about her major challenge as a single mother she said “One of the main challenges is the financial burden. Raising children single-handedly comes with heavy financial responsibility. It is hard to provide for their needs, pay their school fees, and ensure they have a comfortable life. Finding decent job opportunities as a single parent can be quite difficult due to the competition and stereotypes associated with single mothers” She added that limited support systems from the government or social organizations aggravate the situation. She advised other single parents to stay strong and never lose hope.
Stigmatization, discrimination and the likes
Having a failed marriage is not peculiar to women, men do also, But the implication of being a single mother in Nigeria is beyond finance
Single parents, especially mothers. in Nigeria are confronted with societal stigmatization. Single mothers bear the brunt of judgement and negative stereotypes. These individuals are often shamed and blamed for their single-parenthood status, perpetuating harmful narratives that paint them as incapable or irresponsible. Such stigmatization takes a toll on their mental health, self-esteem, and ability to access essential support networks.
Onyeche Obelly, a trader at RumuOkoro market port Harcourt has this to say “Single parenting has been a reasonable choice for me. I had to leave an abusive marriage to protect my child. This was a difficult decision though. As a single parent, I daily faced numerous challenges, which range from discrimination, social isolation etc.”
Beyond this for some single mothers are denied certain privileges. If you need to move to a new house, the house owner may ask for your husband.
Ms Obelly emphasised the need for government policies and organizations which advocate for the rights and well-being of single parents who are struggling in Rivers State and Nigeria as a whole.
The journey of single parenting can be an isolating one. Many single parents lack a robust support system. Traditional family structures, where extended family members play crucial roles in childcare, are often disrupted.
Fati Nathan said Nigerian society often expects the husband to be the provider, and as a single mother, meeting those expectations becomes daunting. Another challenge is the negative perception of single mothers within our communities. “Many of us are judged and often labelled as immoral or failures in marriage”. This affects our self-esteem and makes it harder to find support and acceptance.
According to Fati, a mother of three children aged 3, 5, and 7; “My experience as a single parent has been really tough. Mine was not as a result of divorce but death of a spouse. Coping with the loss of a partner and the breadwinner of a family can be hard”. It starts with finding a stable job as well as relying on others for support especially if your children are still young or more than one. As a widow, one may still be given bad names as having a hand in a spouse’s death.
The untold struggles of single parents in Nigeria reflect in the multitude of challenges they encounter daily, ranging from financial strains and societal stigma to loneliness and lack of support. To lessen these, lawmakers, family and organizations should consider a form of support through making available resources and platforms which can uplift them.
