Zainab Adewale
Seun Adebola*, had a dream of becoming a doctor when she was promoted to junior secondary school (JSS) class one, little did she know that there was a common belief in her hometown that ‘every young lady is expected to bring home their future spouse almost immediately after completing secondary school’.
Seun really fought hard not to dance to this trado-melodious tune, but in the long run, the culture superseded her fighting synergy behind restrictions and her dream, just like the Atlantic ship was sinking.
A report by Human Rights Watch confirmed that young married girls are denied their fundamental rights to education, a safe dwelling, and freedom from violence, and often do not have access to adequate health care.
Without strong regulatory protections for girls, families force them into early marriage for several reasons, including religious, and traditional practices, and to avoid the social stigma over teen pregnancy.
Due to the illiteracy of her forefathers who believed that early marriage prevents fornication and unwanted pregnancy, Seun lost the battle and not the war.
“The belief in Islam is that, once a girl child has completed her first, second, and third menstrual cycle, she’s legally ripe for marriage”.
She stated that this is the tradition among the Muslims in the town as they believe it was the way of ‘Prophet Muhammad’, who married his second wife Ayeesha at the age of 9.
Kishi community is a large town in Oyo state, Nigeria. It has its headquarters at Irepo local government, located in the Northern part of Oyo state. The town has three predominantly religions: traditional, Christianity, and Islam but today, Islam has been well grounded and the Muslims are the majority in the town.
Parent’s Role
Just like Seun, Mustapha Bashiroh, got married to her husband at the age of 19 (two years after completing her secondary school in 2018). So, she easily satisfies her parent’s wish with her intimacy with a young farmer and a trader who had been eying her from afar for years.
She said, “I was in secondary school class two when my parents started hammering in her ear to bring home a man for them who they believed would have been wooing me. After I introduced him, he was summoned by my parents for questioning to know his intention toward me (their daughter) and the meeting turned out to be successful.
“According to the Islamic belief, I can be married off as far as my consent is involved, it wasn’t a bad decision to go into marriage and get married to my husband in 2020 which was a decorated Nikkah wedding”.
However, Bashiroh said she had started learning fashion designing when her parents couldn’t afford to send her to University before she finally tied the knot.
Akeem Kaosara, who was from a broken home grew up with her mum but couldn’t pursue her athlete and polythene-making career before she got married at the age of 19.
Kaosara’s mother urged her to get married when she was lagging in her academics and dropped out of secondary school class three.
“I was my father’s favorite but I can tell he wasn’t happy when I had to leave school as he had a wish to sponsor me up to university level to study any medical course but I wasn’t just interested.
“I first learned hair styling and later switched to polyethylene cutting. Then my mum asked me to bring home a man so she could identify who I’m going out with and possibly start preparing me for marriage.
“My father on the other hand was not satisfied with the whole arrangement as he believed there’s more that could be done as a young lady than learning a skill and getting married at a young age, however, it seems there was nothing more he could do but to accept things as it went. After a year, wedding arrangements were made and I got married to my husband in February 2022”, she added.
Despite the civilization that has taken place which has made everyone see the importance of education in every child’s life, other ladies in the town have fallen victim to these circumstances and are already living as housewives in their respective husband’s homes. There can be different factors why some of them still end up in early marriage, one of them is that most parents in the town still follow the belief that a girl child should marry early to avoid any unlawful act.
What Has Civilization Changed?
Aderibigbe Monsurat, a student of Osun state school of nursing, was one of few Kishi ladies who saw the importance of education due to civilization.
“Every parent is now willing to send their children to any length in their academic pursuit”.
Monsurat however revealed that there are many issues some of the ladies going into early marriage are facing.
“Considering the belief in our modern time, it isn’t fair enough on our girls, but going by the Islamic way, I can’t say they should eradicate it because I learned that it is a saying of the prophet. There is another one that says if the parent of a girl-child knows that their child can stay without committing Zina (adultery), they should leave her but if she cannot, she’s free to go to her husband’s house.
“Those who still fall, victim, sometimes have a goal to pursue but due to their circumstances, such dreams won’t be achieved. And by following that belief, their talent will be killed off along the line and their self-actualization won’t be met. Some of the parents in the town, seeing those children that have succeeded, also want their children to become one, but not all of them” she added.
Also, Mariam, a final year student of Oyo state school of midwifery in Kishi town confirmed it was an old culture but that some parents still hold onto it.
“Nowadays, men don’t even want to marry liabilities, so those who fall into this category should try to be more focused on their skills or anything they could lay their hands on because they can still further their education while in their husband’s house”, she said.
Reactions From Parents
A trader in the community, Mrs. Sheriffah Adam said the belief had been in existence for a long time but now civilization has made every parent see the importance of education.
“The reason for this early marriage is to avoid fornication, pregnancy out of wedlock, and others that could bring shame to a family name. After the completion of a female child’s secondary education, the next thing is to take up a skill and be prepared for marriage as there’s nothing left for her to do in her father’s house and our religion is not against early marriage as long as she’s not forced into the marriage.
“But these days, seeing how things are revolving, every child is now willing to further their education and be greater than their parents. It’s a good thing but it’s a decision that can be taken by both the parents and their daughters. Some parents might not have the means to sponsor them to the university level and instead of roaming the community, they would be asked to go into marriage” she added.
The Credo of Religion In Marriage
Research revealed that every person is connected to one religious leader and that marriage is often viewed as a religious duty. For instance, religion helps in regulating sexuality. The major denominations of Islam forbid pre-marital sex and therefore often sermonize about marriage as a prescribed way of sexual gratification. Therefore, marriage and related practices are often rationalized for some religious reasons in African countries and Nigeria in particular.
The study also revealed that a Muslim community in Makarfi (a town in Kaduna where Muslims are the majority) has it as a Muslim tradition for their females to marry from 14 (sometimes below) and so the community members often put pressure to ensure that girls are married off as early as possible.
Also, For most of the Muslim leaders interviewed, were not aware of a particular age of marriage in Islam as there is no Quranic quotation to support their stance; however, they seem to think that 14 years is the appropriate age.
This shows that there is no specific age of marriage in the Quran and it is a tradition of the Prophet. The main criterion is that a girl should be mature, then marry.
Early marriage is recognized as an old tradition but still occurs within the traditional and Islamic communities, due to some reasons, including unplanned pregnancy and the need to give birth in a partner’s house. Muslim girls in Muslim society get married at an early age and the significant observation is that most of the religious leaders in Muslim communities are promoting early marriages.
Other Reactions…
Alhaji Abdul-Razak Adeleke, who is the principal of Muslim Academy, Kishi, and also a member of the Muslim community leaders council, said the belief is true and has worked for some families by saving them from shame due to how wayward their daughters were.
He confirmed that the belief is still in existence and that some families are still practicing it but in another dimension, as parents now see reasons they should send their daughters to school.
“In today’s world, every child must go to school, it is their right and also the responsibility of their parents to make sure their children are educated. The only thing that can be an obstacle is if the parents don’t have the means.
“There are some ladies in the community that out of their waywardness get impregnated and the parents would have no choice but to send them to their husband’s house. You can’t blame a parent like that because it’s taboo to harbor such a child.
“The other way some parents practice this old belief and still educate their daughters is by legally giving their daughter’s hand in marriage with a promise from the husband to send their child to school”, he noted.
