Bailey Qualtz
Welcoming a baby into your world is a profound shift—equal parts hope, chaos, and transformation. But if you or your partner live with a disability, the road to parenthood can carry a few more hurdles. Not necessarily harder, just different. In Nigeria, where infrastructure doesn’t always meet everyone’s needs, preparing your home and lifestyle ahead of time becomes not just wise but essential. This is not about “overcoming” anything. This is about readiness, dignity, and joy. Because you don’t have to walk to carry love.
Make Your Space Move with You
Before you’re fumbling with diapers or humming your first off-key lullaby, take a good look at how your space actually works for you. How do you move through your home on a tired day? If you use a wheelchair, maybe that bathroom’s tighter than you remember, or the bed’s just a little too high. If your vision’s limited, clear out the mess and think about adding bold colors or textures to help you navigate. None of this has to be fancy—a basic ramp, a shelf you can actually reach, even a toilet seat that doesn’t feel like a stretch. These aren’t extras. They’re how you make your space yours.
Choose Baby Gear That Works for You
Honestly, most baby gear out there feels like it was designed by people who’ve never changed a diaper, let alone thought about disabled parents. But you really don’t need half that stuff anyway. What you need are a few things that actually make your life easier. If your arms get shaky or your grip isn’t great, find a stroller that doesn’t make you wrestle with it just to fold it up. If getting low hurts, skip the fancy crib and throw a mattress on the floor—you’re allowed to do that. And if what you need isn’t in the shops? Ask a friend, call a carpenter, hack something together. The goal isn’t to have the trendiest setup—it’s to have one that lets you show up as a parent.
Advocate Loudly, Document Clearly
You may find that hospitals or health workers aren’t always prepared for a parent with a disability. Prepare for this. Bring written instructions, medical summaries, or support letters to appointments. If a nurse talks over your head or to your spouse instead of you, redirect them firmly. This isn’t rudeness—it’s reality. You’re the parent, and your voice matters. In some Nigerian health institutions, bias runs deep, but so does the potential for change. Every time you assert your competence, you chip away at an old wall. One baby bag at a time.
Keep Your Records in Reach
Whether it’s hospital discharge notes, vaccination schedules, or special care instructions, your medical paperwork can stack up fast. You’ll save yourself a lot of stress by organizing it early, and the easiest way to start is by going digital. Converting key records into PDFs means they’ll look the same on any phone, tablet, or computer—no formatting issues, no digging through folders at 2 a.m. And if you’re wondering where to begin, here’s a guide on how to use a free scanner app that lets you scan, protect, and compress documents right from your phone.
Build a Circle, Not Just a Schedule
Here’s something no one tells you: parenting isn’t just physical labor. It’s emotional logistics. For disabled parents, it’s also about coordination—and sometimes, delegation. Line up trusted help early. This might be your sister who lives nearby, your church friend, or a paid assistant who comes twice a week. In Nigeria, family support is often baked into our culture—but spell things out. Write down feeding times, baby cues, even the way you like the nappies folded. Independence doesn’t mean doing it all alone. It means knowing how to keep the ship sailing with your own captain’s map.
Adapt Daily Routines for Energy and Access
Caring for a newborn isn’t about sprinting through your day—it’s about pacing. If fatigue is a part of your condition, structure your routine with breaks. Keep baby supplies in every room you use, so you’re not constantly moving. Bath the baby at a time of day when you feel most steady. In Nigerian cities where electricity can be fickle, use rechargeable lights for night feeds and movement sensors if you’re navigating the dark. A solid routine is less about rigidity and more about rhythm. Find the beat that works for your body and your baby.
Prioritize Mental Wellness Like Oxygen
People talk about postpartum depression like it’s rare or shameful. It isn’t. Add the stress of managing a disability and you’ve got a mix that can quietly drain your joy. So stay vigilant. Watch for signs—emotional withdrawal, rage, hopelessness. If you feel them, speak. Your local clinic may not have a psychiatrist on call, but organizations like She Writes Woman or Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative offer real support. Therapy isn’t a foreign concept anymore; it’s a lifeline. And so is community. Don’t isolate. Connect with other disabled parents online, even if they’re in Johannesburg or Jos. Someone’s felt what you’re feeling—and made it through.
Rely on Wisdom, Not Just Google
Western parenting advice can be helpful, but it’s not gospel. Not every Nigerian home can afford bottle warmers, nursery cameras, or ergonomic bassinets. That’s okay. Ask your own mother how she bathed you, how she handled fevers. If you’re a parent with a hearing impairment, for example, use clothespins to pin notes to the baby’s onesie for communicating with your co-parent or carer. Use local wisdom as a starting point, then layer in modern solutions where you can. Tradition and technology aren’t opposites—they’re partners.
Having a disability doesn’t put your parenting under a microscope—it puts it under a spotlight. People may gawk, question, even doubt. Let them. What matters is not their approval. What matters is the home you’re creating: one built on intention, adaptation, and fierce love. You have the right to parenthood, full stop. Your disability doesn’t diminish that—it deepens it. It shapes the way you prepare, the way you bond, and the strength you summon when sleep is gone and the baby’s crying and the power’s out. In Nigeria, parenting has always been an act of resilience. Yours just comes with blueprints only you can write.
Bailey Qualtz is the creator of Parentresourcegroup, a platform championing parenting related issues. Stay informed and inspired with Nigeria Grassroot News, your go-to source for impactful stories and insights on societal issues, workplace inclusion, and more in Nigeria.
